Summertime Sadness
by purplehairedwonder
Summary: The summer between junior and senior years, Blaine runs into Sebastian at the library. Literally. Written for Seblaine Sunday. A Not Words 'verse prelude.


**Author's Note:** This was written for Seblaine Sunday on Tumblr for the prompt "Library."

It fits into the _Not Words_ 'verse timeline (based on this passage from 'No Remedy for Love': _"[Blaine] scrolled through his contacts until he found Sebastian's name, put there the day they'd first met at Dalton, deleted after the slushie incident, and re-entered when they'd run into each other that summer at the Westerville public library of all places"_) but it can stand alone since it occurs over a year before the events of that 'verse.

Story title comes from the Lana Del Rey song of the same name.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing you recognize.

* * *

**Summertime Sadness**

* * *

Blaine held a slip of paper with a call number on it as he meandered through the stacks of the Westerville Public Library. He had the day off from Six Flags, but Kurt was working until the evening, so he had some time to kill until they met for dinner.

Since his rejection from NYADA, Kurt had been spending a lot of time at Hummel Tire & Lube while applying to other jobs, including an application he'd just put in at the Lima Bean—earning money for his eventual triumphant move to New York, he said—but Blaine knew he was trying to distract himself, especially when Blaine had a summer gig that kept him pretty busy.

Kurt had become increasingly downtrodden as Rachel returned from New York, excited by her visit to NYADA; Mercedes left for LA, looking for her big break; and Finn prepared for basic training. Though they still saw each other most days and called or texted when they didn't, there were times that Blaine couldn't help but feel like Kurt was shutting him out—like when he went in to work at the shop even though he knew Blaine had a rare day off—but there was only so much Blaine could do for his boyfriend beyond being there for and supporting him.

He glanced down at the slip again to double check the number he'd written down as he turned the corner—and ran straight into a t-shirt-clad chest. Blaine stumbled and grabbed onto the nearest shelf for balance while the other man cursed under his breath. Blaine looked up, but the apology died on his lips as he saw just who he'd collided with.

Sebastian stood all of two feet away from him with a startled look on his face. He was wearing a Dalton lacrosse tee, cargo shorts, and flip-flops; with a pair of sunglasses perched on top of his head, he was more dressed down than Blaine had ever seen him. And, Blaine couldn't help but notice with a slight blush, the effortlessly casual look suited him.

Then again, most looks suited Sebastian; Blaine might be taken, but he wasn't blind. He just made sure to avert his eyes as necessary.

"Sebastian," Blaine finally said, shaking himself. "I'm sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going."

Sebastian's expression shifted from surprised to something approaching a pleased smirk, but Blaine could read the uncertainty in his eyes—it was the same thing Blaine was feeling, after all. They hadn't spoken since shaking hands on stage at Regionals, and Blaine really had no idea where he and Sebastian stood at this point. He wasn't angry at Sebastian anymore, not really, but the peace between them was definitely still tentative.

"Please, run into me anytime, Killer," Sebastian said, lips twitching. "And here I thought today was going to be another lost cause."

Blaine ducked his head. Sebastian always had a way of knocking him off-balance with a well-placed innuendo here or there.

"So what are you doing here?" Blaine asked, looking back up once he'd collected himself.

Sebastian held up a book—Blaine wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, but an Isaac Asimov novel wasn't it; it definitely piqued his interest though—and raised an eyebrow. "What do you _think_ I'm doing here?"

Blaine's face heated at that. "Sorry. I don't mean to sound accusatory. I'm just…surprised to see you."

"Shouldn't that be my question, anyway?" Sebastian countered, waving off Blaine's apology. He crossed his arms and leaned against the shelf. "Not only finding time to read before the boyfriend goes to New York but coming to Westerville to do it? Isn't that a bit of a commute?"

"Kurt's working," Blaine replied, deciding not to correct Sebastian on Kurt's fall plans. Blaine had been there when he'd resignedly signed up for community college classes, and that was ammo that Sebastian didn't need. "And the Lima library didn't have the book I was looking for," he added, waving his slip of paper. "Their idea of a new release is something that came out six months ago, unfortunately."

"So you decided to drive all the way to Westerville for it?"

"So?" Blaine was unsure why he suddenly felt so defensive.

Sebastian shook his head and shrugged. "Nothing. Just, most people put a hold on a book and wait for it to come in."

"Well, I'm not most people."

"No," Sebastian agreed, fixing Blaine with a startlingly intense look, "you definitely aren't."

Blaine struggled not to fidget under the scrutiny; Sebastian had a way of looking at him that made him feel as though Sebastian was looking right through him, past his carefully constructed walls, to his core. It was disconcerting. But at the same time, it was nice to feel _seen_; for all the baggage between them, one thing Sebastian had always done was make Blaine feel visible.

"So what are you up to this summer?" Blaine asked in a terribly transparent ploy to break the tension.

"Working for my father," Sebastian replied with a shrug, though his expression said he knew exactly what Blaine was doing. "He needed a gofer in his office and I get to put working in a State's Attorney's office on my college application." He rolled his eyes. "I think it also qualifies as father-son bonding in his eyes, so it's a win-win I guess. Or a win-win-win, maybe," he added thoughtfully.

There was something more—and slightly bitter—to that off-handed comment about his father. Blaine had gotten to know Sebastian outside of the cheesy come-ons and innuendos before their friendship had broken under the weight of jealousy and competition, and he'd recognized Sebastian as a kindred spirit in many ways; they both struggled under inflated expectations and retreated behind masks as a defensive mechanism. But Blaine was too wary of shattering the fragile atmosphere with a careless touch to broach the subject. It felt too familiar with the distance gaping between them now.

So he just nodded instead. If something akin to disappointment crossed Sebastian's face in response, he'd schooled his features too quickly for Blaine to be sure.

"What about you, Anderson?" Sebastian asked. His voice sounded a little _too_ casual, Blaine thought with a guilty pang.

"Performing at Six Flags," he replied with a shrug. His gesture probably looked affected as well, but Sebastian didn't comment.

Instead, he raised an impressed eyebrow. "Not bad, Killer. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised." He tilted his head slightly, smirking. "Though I hope they realize that they have a future star in their midst."

Blaine scratched the back of his neck, embarrassed. He was surrounded by a lot of talented performers at his job, and he was thankful he'd been able to do it for the last few years. "Nah," he deflected. "But I enjoy it."

Sebastian pressed his lips into a thin line, like he was keeping himself from responding. Then he just shook his head. "Would you mind if I came?" His lips twitched at the innuendo before adding, "To one of your shows, I mean?"

Blaine was startled by that. "Oh. You'd want to?" It didn't really seem like Sebastian's kind of scene, but then again, Sebastian never did what Blaine expected him to.

"And miss a chance to see the lead soloist of Warblers' biggest competition next year?" Sebastian retorted with a smile, "Never. That is," he added conspiratorially, "unless you decide to come back to Dalton, of course."

This time Blaine rolled his eyes. "You know that's not going to happen, Sebastian."

Though it was nice to be wanted; it had taken a long time to feel like part of New Directions the previous year, after all. But while Blaine might have no idea what shape the New Directions of his senior year would take with so many talented seniors graduating, he was committed to seeing it through.

Sebastian shrugged, still smiling. "It was worth a shot."

Blaine shook his head, unable to keep a smile of his own from spreading on his lips. "Whatever you say."

"But seriously," Sebastian said, sobering slightly, "I'd like to see your show. As a friend."

He inclined his head, though Blaine saw another flash of that uncertainty cross his face. _Are we friends? _he seemed to be asking. But Blaine didn't have an answer.

"I'll even make sure to come on a day the boyfriend won't be there," Sebastian added when Blaine remained silent. Blaine decided not to tell him that wasn't likely to be a problem since Kurt had only been to one of his shows all summer. "I've turned over a new leaf, after all."

"A new leaf, huh?" Blaine echoed, thinking back to meeting Sebastian at the Lima Bean before Regionals and the contrite expression on his face as he apologized for hurting Blaine. Blaine had deleted Sebastian's number after the slushie, and he'd ignored calls and texts that he knew were from Sebastian's number, but that day at the Lima Bean he'd felt his anger at the other boy start to bleed out.

Sometimes people just needed an extreme wakeup call to make a change. And Blaine knew a thing or two about wakeup calls, so he desperately wanted to believe that the Sebastian he'd gotten to know before the slushie was still in there—that he hadn't imagined that person, since there were days when he wondered.

"Toeing the company line," Sebastian agreed.

Blaine knew he tended to look for the good in people, sometimes overlooking the bad to the point of getting hurt, but when he was around Sebastian, something deep inside him that he couldn't quite explain to himself stirred, almost as though he was waking from a long sleep. So he made a quick gut decision and nodded.

"Text me your number and I'll send you my show times?" he said, not missing the way Sebastian's expression flickered briefly with hurt before schooling into the familiar smirk.

_You have no right to be hurt that I deleted your number_, Blaine wanted to say. _Not after everything. _

"Sure thing," Sebastian agreed before glancing down at his watch. He grimaced. "I have to get home. But I'll text you later."

"Yeah," Blaine agreed, surprised at the disappointment welling in his chest.

Sebastian took a few steps toward the front of the library, but paused and turned to look at Blaine again. "I'm glad I ran into you today, Killer." He cocked an eyebrow. "Or, well, that _you_ ran into me."

Blaine laughed. "I'm _sorry_."

"Don't be," Sebastian said with a wave before heading up to the desk to check his book out.

Blaine didn't move from his spot until long after Sebastian was gone, stricken by the soft look Sebastian had given him in farewell.

* * *

_fin_


End file.
